Conversations are life’s “grease”. Good conversation make things go smoother – work, relationships, buying something at the store, understanding a complex idea, and more. The challenge is that so many conversations become charged and filled with conflict below the surface.

Why? And how do you diffuse this? There are lots of reasons for conflict and many ways things to look out for in a conversation. Today we’re looking at language: how you say it.

A good idea is to keep things neutral: avoid saying things like “the way you did this didn’t work” because that makes people defensive and as soon as we’re defensive, we stop learning. Instead, try something like “the way the job was done didn’t work as expected” and you’ll find that you’ve removed one obstacle.